brittanylalala

You say that you love me. Well, you may have my heart. He has my body. And I know I swore I was being honest, but I'm not honest and I never could be. I'm screaming for a second chance. Give me reason but don't give me choice. I'll just make the same mistake again.

I never thought it possible. I think I fell in love with someone worse than me. And I love you to death. But I just don't think I like you anymore.

She hadn't been a virgin and he hadn't been a god. They were just two jerks playing with matches.

I know I disappoint you and that I let you down. I feel the guilt and I let the judges frown. I took what's mine by eternal right. You touched my heart, you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. Love is blind and I that knew when my heart blinded by you. I kissed your lips and held your head. I've shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well. I know your smell. I've been addicted to you . I love you, I swear that's always been true. I'm so hollow.

When will I see you again?
You left with no goodbye, not a single word was said,
No final kiss to seal any seams,
I had no idea of the state we were in,

I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,

But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When was the last time you thought of me?
Or have you completely erased me from your memory?
I often think about where I went wrong,
The more I do, the less I know,

But I know I have a fickle heart and bitterness,
And a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head,



But don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

Gave you the space so you could breathe,
I kept my distance so you would be free,
And hope that you find the missing piece,
To bring you back to me,

Why don't you remember?
Don't you remember?
The reason you loved me before,
Baby, please remember me once more,

When will I see you again?
Probably never and maybe that's better.

I loved you so much and it hurt so badly
I lost my world and my dignity with you
I will never care that way again

I said I wouldn't leave
but you'll never change
I'm not satisfied with where I'm at in life.
But I'll never change if I just run away.
I wish I just knew how to stop crying,
or how to stop thinking about you.
And all the things I do,
that make you despise me so.
Your cold is crashing down on me
and all over my heart.
You can't stand to touch me most of the time,
and I can see your fake smiles.
And I can't believe that I miss you
and that I still want you.
After all the things that you said to me


I wish that I could stay,
but you argue.
I'd do anything for you.
I wish I knew what it was '
that makes me care for you
so much that the thought
of losing you hurts me
even more than what you
put me through

All that I had was all I was gonna get,
All I'm gonna get is gone with your step.
Know that when you leave, By blood and by me
You walk like a thief,
Your the reason why I'm close
So tell me when you hear my heart stop
You're the only one that knows
Tell me when you hear my silence
There a possibility I wouldn't know
I'll fall when you leave,
I'll follow your lead.

The pain that follows the joy,
Does it make the joy worth it?
The uncertainty that follows after you leave,
It cuts me up and leaves me for dead.
I'm going through everyday,
Trying to keep thoughts of you away.
All the energy and effort that goes with this,
It is wasted on impossible feats.
You never leave, stuck in my brain like a demon
That feeds on the sick sweet liquid love I hold inside.
A parasite that binds to my heart,
And promises never to leave but is seldom there.
The thing that's left from your claws
It's a gaping hole that leaves me raw
And shaken to the core.
I feed you truth and love,
But what's returned I can't be sure,
If it's me or her that you want more.


There is a smile of love,
And there is a smile of deceit.
How to tell the difference,
Whenever we should greet.
There is a frown of hurt,
And a there is a frown of disdain,
Which one has more to gain?
You smiled, You spoke,
And I believed.
But every smile and word has deceived.
I think and speak of other things,
To keep my mid at rest,
But still to thee my memory clings.


Oh Dear you must be sick
The invisible demon,
That flies through the night,
Has found my bed,
Of crimson joy.
And his dark secret love,
Does my life destroy

Sara got me in the mood...
I'll belong to you if you just let me through
Don't complicate it by hesitating
And being with you here makes me sane,
I fear I'll go crazy if you leave my side.



~KLL~
Sharp disaster in a fresh new coma
Was it worth it when it was over
Proving yourself right
You'd make the biggest noise
I'd lock my hands behind my head
I'd cover my heart and hit the deck
I'd brace myself for the impact
And I am so resilient
I recover quickly
I'll convince you soon that I am fine
Well thanks for waiting this long to show yourself.
Cause now that I can see you,
I don't think you're worth a second glance.
So much for all the promises you made, they served you well
and now you're gone and they're wasted on me.
So much for your endearing sense of charm, it served you well
and now it's gone and you're wasted on me.


Me and Sara hung out again today...I have fun with her and it's nice to be sober and still feel happy. Im glad we started haniging out again.

I know I'm alone now, I know what it tastes like.
I only talk to you sometimes.
And though I only ask for help in riddles,
It is clearer in my mind.
I know I question things too quickly,
I keep questioning If I've Loved.
All I really was doing,
Was waiting for Love.
No need to be alone,
It's real Love.
No need to be afraid.
Thought I'd been in love before,
But in my heart I wanted more.
Seems like all I really was doing,
Was waiting for you.

It's hard to believe a liar,
When he's calling out your name.
I am gasping for sleep,
I am so dark and weak.
I apologize for bleeding words...
It's hard to believe a story,
That's been told so well.
I remember the days,
When you used to call my name,
I was so blind.

I don't know where the inspiration comes from,
I should have some, yet I feel blank.
All these thoughts scramble in my head so fast,
It's nothing but a white blur.
"You let me go,
Those feelings changed,
But I can't help mine"
You have to let go.
I'm not here.
Just leave,
Just breathe.
Don't fool ourselves.
Sweetly rejected....
These conversations kill,
You've put me down for the last time.

Gone away are the golden days
Just a page in my diary
So now I find denial in my eyes
I'm mesmerized by the picture that's in my mind
Tell me when I'll finally see your shallow heart
For what it is
Cause I don't want to keep on believing in illusions
Sometimes I can't explain
And I'm so sorry that I can't
I'll try to concentrate
On your true identity
I've seen your act and I Know all the facts
It's not hard to see who are underneath
What I loved was who I wish you were
In the corner of my mind I know that
surely even I deserve the best
But instead of leaving
I would put the issue to bed and out of my head
Just when I believed you changed for good
You went and proved me wrong
just like I knew you would
When I run out of second chances you give me that look
and Your off the hook
It's not right to just love me when you can
I won't wait patiently
I won't wake up everyday just hoping that you still care




I'm already yours, You can see it in my eyes
I don't know how much I can keep Letting you unravel me
The more you learn the more we share
I never meant most of those pretty words I said
But I wanted you to think I did, because
Telling you all this makes no difference, it's useless
Those who get to know are hearts the most
They always seem to be the one's well never hold
We were worlds apart and you see It was so much
easier to be and I now I know what we can't have and it's so unfair
Can't you see it's destroying me? I can't stand the closeness
But don't you dare go avoiding me, I kills me
and it keeps me going

I read dear john yesterday....and it about killed me. I cant believe how a book can make me so emotional. I was working when I finished it and I couldn't think about anything else the rest of the night. I am just in awe of this character who had no one in the world except this girl who he love more than anything and she loved him too and to sacrifice all his happiness in the world to save her other lover. And how he was left alone. and he literally had not one other person, not parents, no friends,,,he was left completely alone. All I can think is that is something I could never do. I just wanted him to let him die and be with her. How horrible is that? I get so lost in books about these lovers who sacrifice so much for each other and how strong the words explaining their love can make you feel. It leaves me with an emptiness. The only thing I ever want in life is to love someone that much and for them to love me the same. I honestly feel like that is the only thing that makes life worth living. If I found that there is nothing that would ever make me let go.

When I said I loved you,
It was a lie.
Lust is what
I felt inside.
I'm still wondering
what love is,
This couldn't have been it,
it wasn't all bliss.
We definitely wouldn't
be good together;
The two of us mixing
was like bad weather.
You were snow,
and I was the sun.
The task of staying together
could never be done.
If I say this over and over,
maybe I'll believe.
I'll get out of this okay,
if I can deceive me.

when I look at you all the stars fall out of the sky
against you their brightness dies.

sometimes it amazes me how completely in love with you I am.
Most of the time I'm afraid to admit it to even myself.

stay with me
your the one I need
you make the hardest things
seem easy

keep my heart
somewhere drugs don't go
where the sun shines low
Always keep me close

I'm gonna ride this plane out of your life again
I wish that I could stay, but you argue
More than this I wish, you could've seen my face
In backseats staring out, the window

I'll do anything for you
Kill anyone for you

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I will be coming back
In a phrase to cut these lips
I love you

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up

I've earned through hope and faith
On the curves around your face
That I'm the one you'll hold forever
If morning never comes for either one of us
Then this I pray to you wherever

I'll do anything for you
This story is for you
('Cause I'd do anything you want me to for you)
I'll do anything for you
Kill anyone for you

So leave yourself intact
'Cause I won't be coming back
In a phrase to cut these lips
I loved you

The morning will come
In the press of every kiss
With your head upon my chest
Where I will annoy you
With every waking breath
Until you decide to wake up